If restaurants functioned like... There's a difference between service and support. Dateline: Tuesday, April 25, 2006 If restaurants functioned like ... Patron: Waiter! Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill, and I'll be your Support. Waiter. What seems to be the problem? Patron: There's a fly in my soup! Waiter: Try again, maybe the fly won't be there this time. Patron: No, it's still there. Waiter: Maybe it's the way you're using the soup. Try eating it with a fork instead. Patron: Even when I use the fork, the fly is still there. Waiter: Maybe the soup is incompatible with the bowl. What kind of bowl are you using? Patron: A SOUP bowl! Waiter: Hmmm, that should work. Maybe it's a configuration problem. How was the bowl set up? Patron: You brought it to me on a saucer. What has that to do with the fly in my soup?! Waiter: Can you remember everything you did before you noticed the fly in your soup? Patron: I sat down and ordered the Soup of the Day! Waiter: Have you considered upgrading to the latest Soup of the Day? Patron: You have more than one Soup of the Day each day?? Waiter: Yes, the Soup of the Day changes every hour. Patron: Well, what is the Soup of the Day now? Waiter: The current Soup of the Day is tomato. Patron: Fine. Bring me the tomato soup and the check. I'm running late now. [Waiter leaves and returns with another bowl of soup and the check.] Waiter: Here you are, Sir, the soup and your check. Patron: This is potato soup. Waiter: Yes, the tomato soup wasn't ready yet. Patron: Well, I'm so hungry now, I'll eat anything. [Waiter leaves.] Patron: Waiter! There's a spider in my soup! The check: Soup of the day. . . . . . . . . . .$5.00 Fly Feature. . . . . . . . . . . no charge Upgrade to newer Soup of the Day. . . .$2.50 Access to support. . . . . . . . . . . $1.00 -- I found one day in school a boy of medium size ill-treating a smaller boy. I expostulated, but he replied: 'The bigs hit me, so I hit the babies; that's fair.' In these words he epitomized the history of the human race. -Bertrand Russell in Education and the Social Order
